Sunday, January 12, 2014

For the past few days I've had "hotter than a fever" in what I thought was Loretta Lynn's voice running though my head. So tonight I google it, and low and behold it's from Jackson. I watch this video:

And then toggled over to Facebook where this was at the top of my feed:

1967, Johnny Cash and June Carter record "Jackson" in Nashville.


Newly single and not sure which way to turn. Won't go into details, but sorta eh about it. I'm glade I ended it when I did. I'm tired of cleaning up other women's messes. I didn't do these things to you, there is no reason why I don't deserve all of your love just because you're jaded over the past. I might end up dating a 22 year old just to get away from all these jaded men my age.  I know what I want, but it's such an odd combination I don't know if I'll ever find it. 

I like country boys, but I'm VERY liberal.  And I have come across very few country boys ( either small town or cowboy) that hasn't said something to offend me. 
I am very attracted to a kind heart that would do anything for people at the drop of the hat. That is a quality I try to posses and that I instilled in the male lead in my novel. I also like men who can fix things, because I never grew up with a man who could. 

I'm also not really into being a step mom, which is rare at my age, especially for a good country boy. 

So I guess I will just have to see what pans out. 

Sunday, January 5, 2014

The beginning of the new year.. Or how we both could of died on New Years Day.





I think I'll go day by day for the past week:
Monday and Tuesday seem so far away. I was at work till 5 pm on New Years eve. I then went home and did some laundry and fed the dogs. Then packed to go to my friend's house. I had initially said we could stay in and paint our nails and watch chick flicks. I find lately that I still like to do the same things I liked to do in middle school. (Including belting out word for word along with Reba Mc Entire's Rumor Has It Album at 1:30 last night when I couldn't sleep. ;) )

We ended up going to the store to get:

 and then to her friend's house across the way. I like the friend an her husband, don't get me wrong, but the extended family that was there was ghetto. The most horrifying was a pregnant lady who was drinking wine and smoking. I apparently am not one to call the cops, like that waitress did last month. (What ever happened with that? Did she get another job?) I drank the coolers that I brought and petted a wonderful dog, refused to play beer pong or Just Dance. I wanted to go home about two hours before we did. The boyfriend had wished me happy new years, but then didn't say anything else. I figure he was passed out. When we got back to her house she put Undeclared on and we fell asleep. I had thrown my phone in my overnight bag because apparently I was over it.

At about 9 am I got it out and saw I had a picture message from the boy (Man?). My friend was in the bathroom and when she came out I was just sitting in her recliner (Where I usually sleep at her house) and I told her I don't know how to internalize this. I then handed her my phone and the picture of his arm with scraps and IV's and hospital bands. While she had the phone I got the text that said I wrecked and am pretty tore up. I was, not really mad, but disappointed. We had extensively talked about being safe and promised each other that even though we' d be apart we'd be careful. I had thought he drove his truck and was thinking that even though I'm not one to kick someone when they're down, I also don't want to be with someone that reckless and, well dumb. It later came out that he had driven his ATV to his neighbor's house and on the way home taken the turn onto his dirt road too sharp and he doesn't really know what happened. He said that some girl found his ATV tipped over in the road and they eventually found him. He got up and his neighbor helped him turn his ATV upright and he went home and hurt so bad he chugged Whiskey. I don't know if he called his parent's or what but he ended up in their small town hospital with a high blood alcohol. He said he told the Dr. he wasn't drunk when it happened. He had gone home and chugged the alcohol because he was in pain... Because they didn't know if he had internal bleeding he was taken to my work in the big city by ambulance and his parents were there. I asked him if he wanted me to come and see him, if he was admitted to the trauma floor or in the ed. He was still in the trauma ed and they were just trying to figure out if he had internal bleeding. Before I had gotten home from my friends house he was heading back to his home with his parents. I spent the day napping and packing and assuming that I was going to stay with him.

When we finally got our act together it was getting dark. He had told me he needed my help with his dressing changes. (Which was a lie, but a good lie.He just wanted me there.) He told me that the pain killers had made him nauseous so I told him I'd bring him some bland things. I got everything loaded into my brother's truck ( I had taken him to the airport  to spend the holidays in San Diego with my mom's family.) and was proceeding to go to the Safeway on the edge of town to get his things before going out on Houghton. As I was approaching Safeway the Serpentine belt broke.

 I could barely turn into the parking lot. Then I parked. I tried to move the truck again. It turned on, but the battery light also turned on, even though the batter gauge said it had a charge. I called my brother to question him on if his truck locks up when the battery dies. He said that had never happened before. I called boy/man ( I need to figure out what to call him) and told him what happened. There was nothing he could do in the state he was in. I called my brother who lives in town and he didn't answer the phone, I called my best friend who lives in midtown and would be sometime to get to me. I finally called my sister in law because her husband never answers the phone. I told her I needed help. While I was waiting for him I went into the store and bought the items I promise him and a rotisserie chicken, because I hadn't eaten all day and I doubted there was food ( fast or cooked) where I was going. I ate the chicken in the truck waiting to be rescued.

Moments later my brother pulled up with my 5 year old Niece who was very upset about the truck, so much so that when they went home she told my brother to never show her anything like that again.

I ended up taking my own truck, which was stupid but something I knew I needed to do. Tacoma has needed new tires for awhile... So I drove the 50 miles to his home on the highway never going past 65, tight knuckled in the slow lane behind a flat bed semi that occasional went over both lines.
I like to think I'm pretty good with directions. But I got lost. It was dark. When I finally made it there we just went to bed. I had to get up early to call into work. I could of done it the night before but I waited till the last minute. Then went back to sleep till my brother then the tow truck driver called.

I got up and showered and called the tow driver from his drive. I told him where I was and he said " Where?" I told him I'd be there in about an hour. Let's say an hour and fifteen.

When I got into town I was early. I got an egg McMuffin and coffee from McDonalds in the same parking lot as said non turning truck. I went into Safeway and got more Salmon because I haven't  had it in forever and now I'm addicted. ( I prefer it sweet with brown sugar and butter glaze.)

The tow guy came, who looked like a much older version of a nerdy ex bf I once had. I told him it ran but didn't turn. He said, " Oh, it will turn." Which I thought was funny.

Friday I called in again, picked my brother up from the airport and we had lunch and got his truck. We then drove down to Sorry Vista to my Niece's 6th birthday party. It was a fiesta! Tequila shots, Pollo Carbon and steaks. A big pot of beans and tortilla. So good. There was also my niece's cousin who is a few years older than she is and a few of her friends there, 4 little girls in all. A lot of pink and a lot of Minnie Mouse. A pinata of Minnie that was huge and horribly hard to break with the dinky pinata stick from Party City, that they have the audacity to call a bat...

Saturday I did a whole lot of nothing. I don't think I left the house except to run to the bank to cash a Christmas check. Oh and I started watching grav3yardgirl first on facebook then youtube. I had heard her name mentioned on other beauty blogs I was quick to notice the trajectory of how obnoxious she has gotten lately (In the span or watching her most recent videos and  few older ones). Very  much trying too hard, but I sent my best friend  a quote of hers when says, "Black is my favorite... second, no third, favorite color behind leopard  and camo." I also developed a drawl to the point where he called me Tex last night. I'm also one of those people who isn't mocking you, but will start to pick up your accent.

 Today I'm going to Sally's Beauty after my friend gets off work. I have a list of items I want. I'm one of those online shoppers that even when going to a brick and motor I have to look online to see what they have.

Wednesday, January 1, 2014

New Years Day

To me New Years has always been the death of Hank Williams and Alan Jackson's Midnight in Montgomery. Sadly I cannot find the original video on Youtube. As I child I was always sacred 's of Hank Williams. I think it was because he was always a ghost to me. On top of that the video for Tear in Beer with Hank Jr came out when I was still pretty young and that video is sorta creepy. To my Facebook friends I posted David Allen Coe's Ghost of Hank William, the live version. They are now accepting of my love of Hank III and posting of random old Country videos. I think they realized that once again I've gone country, and might not be coming back.

 As I write this I'm wearing a A Hank III shirt. I love Shelton, he make me happy. Part Country and part heavy metal, he does what he wants and his stubbornness makes me smile. My favorite story to tell people is the time he was mad at security so he played for 3 hours straight. Wouldn't leave the stage even when his band did so. That was his fuck you, don't treat my fans badly or else you're working for me nonstop till I say when.

I love Spotify. And one of the play lists I added entitled: Pistol Annies/Wreckers/ Lady A! had Hank's Cadillac by Ashley Monroe on it. Though it's 8 years old, it's new to me and very fitting that I found it on New Years day.

On a personal note my boyfriend rolled an ATV last night and spent the wee hours of New Years day in the Trauma bay at my work. He's home now. A little banged up, but alive. And we all know that's all that matters.